Jeb s Collection Bank Robbery 2

Автор: Рамиро Лебедев-Толмач


I put together a gang with some of the toughest eighth graders in town: there was Barney ‘The Dinosaur’, he was called this because he had a brain the size of a walnut; ‘Mumbles’ Malone – he got his nickname because no one could understand anything he said; and finally ‘Bouncing’ Bob Buttifucco who earned his name by doing just that when he was dropped while still an infant.

Our first stop was the neighbourhood toy store. We decided to shoplift some toy guns (our moms wouldn’t let us play with real ones until we turned 14) and check out the latest Nintendo Game.

The next stop, of course, was the Bank. We did it just like in the movies; we burst into the bank, shouted, ‘This is a stick-up’, ordered everyone to lie on the floor face down with their hands behind their head, and gave the cashiers sacks to stuff with our loot.

Everything was going like clock work. Until we got to the safe. As it turned out, the safe was empty! The bank was bankrupt, they had no money left. Not knowing what to do, I turned to ask ‘Bouncing’ Bob for advice. He wasn’t there, he was busy flirting with one of the cashiers. I then asked Mumbles Malone, but I couldn’t make out anything he said. Barney suggested we go to McDonald’s because he was getting hungry since he didn’t have breakfast. By this time, the people in the bank noticed we were kids and that we only had toy guns. Boy, were they mad! They started screaming and yelling, ‘Thieves! Robbers! You won’t get away with this! Where’s our money?’ I thought we were goners for sure.

Then the people ran after the bank president and his six vice-presidents. The president called to the security guard for help but, he also kept his money in this bank and had joined the mob. We took this opportunity to sneak out. We didn’t leave empty-handed, though. We managed to swipe some pens and ashtrays with the bank’s logo on them. The best part was we made it to McDonald’s before the lines got too long.



(Jeb + Chuck - Ramiro)